Strengthening Our Understanding of Childhood Grief
A conversation with Evoke therapist and grief specialist, Kayla Samuels, LMSW
Grief is a universal human experience, but it shows up differently for everyone, and the process can shift from moment to moment. Because grief and death are often difficult topics for families and communities to talk about, many children end up navigating big feelings without a clear understanding of what those feelings mean or how to express them.
To deepen our understanding of how children experience grief, we spoke with Kayla Samuels, a grief therapist at Evoke who, every summer, provides her clinical services to campers at Experience Camps. Experience Camps is a free sleepaway camp for kids who have experienced the death of a caregiver or sibling. Kayla offers both clinical support and compassionate guidance to help campers explore their grief in a safe, communal environment.
Below, she shares what she’s learned from supporting grieving children and the adults who care for them.
How Children Process Grief
Q1. While working with campers, what do you notice about the way children process grief?
Kayla: One of the most important things I’ve learned is that every child processes grief differently. Their relationship with the person who died, their developmental stage, and what they need from camp can shift year to year. At camp, kids get permission to be happy and silly, while also having space for moments that are challenging, sad, or confusing.
Joy isn’t the opposite of grief—it’s part of it. Grief is a form of love, and making room for play allows children to express that love in ways that feel natural to them. Play becomes a pathway for exploring what they’ve been through and how their grief shows up, including in moments of laughter and connection.
Supporting a Grieving Child (or Anyone Who Is Grieving)
Q2. Many people feel unsure about what to say to someone who is grieving. How do you talk to kids about their grief, and what guidance would you offer to others?
Kayla: One of the most meaningful parts of camp is our sharing circles. These are structured spaces for kids to talk about their person or people who died. What’s remarkable is that the healing doesn’t come from saying the “right” thing. It comes from listening.
There is no way to fix grief. When we let go of the urge to make children feel better or to offer solutions, we create space for them to share openly. Our job is to witness, to hold their stories, and to show them that we’re willing to be there with them in moments of deep vulnerability.
Sometimes the most honest and effective thing we can say is simply, “This is really hard." Naming the truth can be both validating and transformative.
Helpful First Steps for Caregivers
Q3. What do you recommend for caregivers whose child has recently experienced a significant loss?
Kayla: A few key things stand out:
Seek your own support. If you are grieving too, it’s important to have a space to process your own feelings.
Talk about the person who died. Answer questions as honestly as you can, and show your child that their grief is welcomed, not inconvenient.
Make room for play. Children need opportunities for joy, humor, and fun, even in the midst of loss. If it feels hard to provide this yourself, lean on others in your community.
Model emotional expression. Let your child see you cry or express your own feelings. This helps them understand that grief can look many different ways and that all of it is okay. It’s also important to let them know that not crying is okay too.
Connect them with peers who “get it.” Whether it’s another child at school, a support group, a camp, or a grief-focused community, connecting with others who have experienced loss can create a powerful sense of belonging.
Recommended Childhood Grief Resources
Q4. Do you have any recommendations for families seeking additional grief resources?
Kayla: Absolutely. These organizations and books offer developmentally thoughtful guidance and support:
Websites & Organizations
Dougy Center – National Grief Center for Children & Families
Books
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death – Laurie Krasny Brown
The Invisible String – Patrice Karst
My Grief Comfort Book – Brie Overton
Sun Kisses, Moon Hugs – Susan Bernardo
Key Takeaways
Grief never goes away, but rather it can integrate into one's life. For children, that integration happens through a balance of play, connection, and honest conversations about the person who died. There is no timeline, no checklist, and no “right” way to grieve. Instead, children benefit most when the adults around them create space for emotional expression, model their own humanity, and offer ongoing opportunities for support and belonging.
With compassionate guidance and community, children can learn not only to carry their grief but to understand it as part of their continued relationship with their person who died.
If you’re supporting a grieving child, or navigating your own grief, you don’t have to do it alone. Explore the resources above or reach out to our clinical team at info@evokepsych.com.
