Anxious Kids & the Power of Play: A Quick Guide for Parents & Caregivers
By Kayla Samuels, LMSW
If you're a parent or caregiver, you've likely witnessed it—your child turning away when spoken to, hiding behind your leg, or tearing up when something feels “too much.” Anxiety in kids is more common than many realize, and our natural instinct as caregivers is to protect, comfort, and fix the situation. It can make us uncomfortable to witness their distress!
But here's the twist: while rescuing your child from anxious moments feels helpful, over time it can accidentally teach their brain that those situations really are dangerous—and that they can’t handle them on their own.
So what can you do instead? How can you support your child without feeding the anxiety?
The Magic of CDI (Child Directed Interaction)
One powerful parenting tool comes from Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)—specifically a skill set called Child Directed Interaction (CDI). CDI is all about strengthening your connection with your child by letting them take the lead during play. No correcting, no quizzing—just following their lead and giving them your full attention.
In a world where kids are constantly being told what to do, CDI gives them space to feel confident, capable, and safe—which is especially helpful for children who experience anxiety.
Use Your PRIDE
CDI is built around five simple but effective tools, known as the PRIDE skills:
P – Praise: Give labeled praise for behaviors you want to see more of. (“I love how carefully you stacked those blocks!”)
R – Reflect: Repeat or paraphrase what your child says. It shows you’re listening. (“Yes, that is a fast car!”)
I – Imitate: Join them in the fun—if they’re playing firefighter, you grab the hose too.
D – Describe: Say out loud what your child is doing, like a sportscaster. (“You’re lining up all the animals!”)
E – Enjoy: Be present and truly enjoy the moment with your child.
A Small Shift, Big Results
CDI doesn’t take hours—just 10–15 minutes of focused, distraction-free play each day can go a long way. And when your child is anxious, pulling away, or shutting down, this kind of interaction helps re-establish trust and regulation—without overwhelming them with questions or corrections.
For example, if your child suddenly refuses to join a group activity or clams up at school drop-off, a little “CDI time” later in the day can help them feel grounded and seen.
Support Without Over-Accommodating
It can be incredibly tough to watch kids struggle—but helping them learn to tolerate anxiety in small, safe ways helps build long-term confidence. CDI gives you a simple, evidence-based way to support your child’s emotional growth without reinforcing their fears.
So the next time your child is anxious, resist the urge to fix it right away. Slow down, follow their lead, and show them you trust their ability to handle tough moments—with you right there beside them.
📞 Looking to support an anxious child? Reach out to us at info@evokepsych.com to schedule a consultation or learn more about our services for children, teens, and families.
